Read by Michael Flamel

Like all great artists, the weather has its temperamental moments. Some days, your garden seems bathed in the brilliance of a Summer sun, while others are shrouded in gloomy grey clouds—perfect for sighing dramatically and staring out the window. But what’s a gardener to do when inspiration (and sunshine) fail to show up? Grow scallions, of course!

The scallion, or green onion, is like the dependable friend who always shows up at the party with snacks. They’re cheap, delicious, and practically impossible to mess up—an unholy trifecta that makes them the perfect rainy-day veggie. Best of all, you don’t even need soil! That’s right: no dirt, no shovels, no post-planting backaches. Just grab those green onion roots, plop them into a humble container, fill it halfway with water, and voilà! You’ve just started your own countertop onion empire.

In just a few days, those once-sad, lifeless onion roots will start growing fresh, bright green stalks like they’ve been reading motivational quotes. The transformation is as magical as it is low-maintenance—Mother Nature giving you a wink, as if to say, “See? You can garden without getting dirt under your nails.” In about a week, you’ll have a mini-jungle of scallions ready to chop up and toss into your favorite dishes.

At my place, the number of green onions I’ve got sprouting at any given time is a pretty accurate gauge of how long it’s been raining. They pop up in old mason jars, coffee mugs, even an abandoned fishbowl—because when you can grow something that easily, you start seeing potential green onion nurseries everywhere.

Now, why are these little guys such rock stars? First, they add a crisp, fresh flavor to just about any dish. Toss them into scrambled eggs, sprinkle them over salads, or use them as a garnish on soup for that restaurant-quality finish. Scallions deliver a subtle but satisfying onion taste that won’t overpower your meal. They’re great on everything from tacos to baked potatoes to stir-fries—think of them as the universal garnish you never knew you needed.

But it’s not just about taste. Scallions are also nutritional powerhouses. Packed with vitamins A and C, they’re great for boosting your immune system. Their antioxidants help reduce inflammation, and they even contain fiber for better digestion. And since they’re low in calories, you can sprinkle them generously without guilt. In short, scallions are like the multitasking superheroes of the vegetable world.

Here’s a fun secret: every time my wife comes home from grocery shopping, I make a beeline for the green onions. Forget the chips or ice cream; it’s the scallions that get me excited. I carefully collect them like precious cargo, adding them to my growing indoor forest. My wife? Well, I pay her back by sprinkling scallions on everything she eats, from breakfast to dinner. Nothing says, “I love you,” like a generous garnish of green onions, right?

So, the next time you’re stuck inside on a rainy day—or just looking for a simple, rewarding gardening project—consider starting your very own great green onion grove. And hey, with the money you save on store-bought garnishes, you’ll have enough left over for more important things, like, I don’t know…more scallions. ❖

About the Author: Brandon Yu is a lifelong gardener from South Florida with a passion for storytelling and a borderline obsession with green onions. When he’s not tending to his apartment-sized onion grove, he’s probably dreaming up new ways to sneak scallions into his wife’s meals. He firmly believes that no dish is complete without a few finely chopped green onion stalks on top.