In this humorous and heartwarming story, author Tammy Hanline shares the cherished memories and quirky traditions she’s gained from her family’s gardening adventures. With wit and nostalgia, she recounts the unique ritual of the Cow Patty Hunt, passed down through generations, from her granddad’s enthusiastic quests to her own adventures with her niece. Along the way, she imparts the wisdom of cow patty identification, the transformative power of “black gold,” and the joy of a bountiful harvest, all told through the lens of a family that knows how to blend gardening with laughter. It’s a relatable and entertaining read for anyone who has ever discovered that the secret to a thriving garden might just lie in the most unexpected places.

This story was originally published in our sister publication, GreenPrints Magazine under the title, “The Great Cow Patty Caper.” It was written by Tammy Hanline, illustrated by Christy Page, and was published originally in 2024, in GreenPrints Issue #141. Enjoy!

The Great Cow Patty Caper

Growing up in the enchanting Virginia countryside, my nose was the first to explore the wonders of our family garden. Picture the Spring awakening, with the aroma of freshly thawed soil wafting through the air—ah, the sweet smell of growing things, and, of course, the unmistakable fragrance of cow manure “patties” tucked away in the distant corners.

Now, let me take you on a delightful journey of a cherished family tradition—the Cow Patty Hunt. You see, my granddad was a connoisseur of this unique activity, armed with a pail, a long stick, and unbridled enthusiasm for the quest.

In our gardening escapades, my granddad would educate me on the fine art of cow patty identification. Green ones were off-limits, but the dry ones were fair game. Armed with a stick, we tapped and turned them over, leaving the wet ones to sunbathe for another day. Those that had dried to perfection were collected, like treasures in a pirate’s chest.

Fast-forward a few decades, and it was time for me to pass down this quirky gardening wisdom to my niece. Our gardening lessons had been going swimmingly until the day of Cow Patty Hunting 101.

With boots, gloves, pail, and stick in hand, we ventured into the cow pasture. I explained to her that we were about to uncover a family secret for a bountiful garden. After a few unsuccessful attempts, we stumbled upon the perfect cow patty. As we gleefully collected our find, a fresh deposit from the cow itself landed right beside us. I winked at my niece and said, “We’ll be back for that in a few days.”

The realization hit her like a ton of cow patties. Her wide-eyed shock and dropped jaw were priceless as we made our way back to the garden. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her silent bewilderment. Back at the garden, we transformed our bounty into “black gold”—the secret ingredient to our thriving plants.

As we cleaned up and prepared the harvested veggies for dinner, I couldn’t resist a bit of family wisdom: “You know we are what we eat. Nothing beats fresh produce straight from the garden, right?”

With a matter-of-fact nod, she replied, “Yes, I know. Guess that’s why Mom says Daddy is full of bull crap when he makes her laugh.”

And there it was—a family tradition passed down through generations, blending gardening wisdom with a generous dose of laughter. Now, as a grown woman with a family and a garden of her own, my niece shares a good laugh whenever we embark on a cow patty hunt together. After all, who said gardening couldn’t be a little bit messy and a whole lot of fun? ❖

If you enjoyed this story, check out our sister publication GreenPrints Magazine.