Read by Matilda Longbottom

My birdbath is like the hot new spa in town. Every day, it’s packed with birds splashing, chirping, and fluffing their feathers in what can only be described as “avian revelry.” Naturally, I keep my binoculars at the ready on the kitchen counter, not wanting to miss any of the action. These birds feel perfectly safe in my garden—because I charge out the back door like a madwoman at the sight of any cat, no matter how adorable, that dares to step a paw in my bird sanctuary.

Lately, I’ve been trying to attract a wider variety of bird species. With this goal—and a good chunk of my checking account—I bought 10 pounds of Kaytee black sunflower seeds. The packaging proudly boasted that it was “the most desired seed of wild birds” and would “attract the greatest variety of birds.”

The squirrels loved it! They went nuts—literally—emptying all my discount feeders in record time, meticulously hunting for the prized Kaytee seeds. After watching them ransack every feeder, I gave in to their tiny, twitching noses and created a compromise: a daily squirrel ration served on their own personal silver platter. Surely, I thought, this would keep them satisfied and leave the bird feeders alone.

Ha! Optimism, it turns out, is best left to the birds.

Determined to up the ante, I ventured into a specialty bird store, dipped into my savings account, and walked out with the deluxe, gourmet, organic, certified, and guaranteed elite avian cuisine. For the price I paid, I half-expected to find gold nuggets mixed in with the seeds. Alas, no gold, but there were black sunflower seeds. (Of course there were.)

I hurried home, filled the feeders with this new miracle mix, and waited for the rare and exotic birds to arrive.

The squirrels loved it.

But here’s where the story takes a twist. Given the price of that gourmet feed, I refused to let it all go to the rodents. So now, every morning, I have a bowl of this elite avian breakfast myself. The squirrels get their Kaytee stash, the birds have their cheap seed back, and we’ve all found a strange, harmonious balance. The only downside is that after breakfast, I have an overwhelming urge to jump into the birdbath. ❖

About the Author: Jaci Hall is a long-time subscriber to GreenPrints who loves watching the birds in her garden and occasionally writes essays inspired by her feathered friends. She has a knack for turning everyday gardening adventures into humorous tales of animal antics and backyard mishaps. When not chasing squirrels or dining on gourmet birdseed, she enjoys contributing to her favorite gardening magazines.