Ah, the tooth fairy, that mystical creature who turns lost baby teeth into a currency exchange game. Most of my childhood friends would excitedly find a nickel or a shiny quarter under their pillows after losing a tooth, but at my house, well, things were a little different.
You see, in my world, the tooth fairy had a penchant for exotic fruits. It was as if she owned stock in a fruit market rather than a tooth bank. I remember the first time I lost a tooth and placed it under my pillow with great anticipation. The next morning, I eagerly dug under my pillow and found not a shiny coin but a tangerine. Yes, a tangerine! I was a bit perplexed. My friends were getting richer by the tooth, and I was acquiring a vitamin C surplus.
Naturally, I couldn’t just let this mystery be. So, I turned to my dad for answers. He explained with a completely straight face that our tooth fairy was a “fruitarian.” That’s right, our tooth fairy only dealt in fruit, and I, being a truly special child, was the fortunate recipient of her fruity bounty.
Of course, I bought into this tooth fairy fruitarian tale, hook, line, and sinker. I felt pretty darn special, trading my teeth for fruit while my friends dealt in cold, hard cash. I would prance into school, boasting about the kiwis and mangoes the tooth fairy had left me in exchange for my molars.
Over time, I got to be quite the fruit connoisseur. I could tell a mandarin orange from a clementine at an age when most kids couldn’t even spell those words. I even started to look forward to losing teeth, in anticipation of what I knew would be a delightful surprise under my pillow.
Looking back, I marvel at the effort my dad put into finding exotic fruit. Because lemons, oranges, limes, and grapefruits grew in abundance in our neighborhood, and were always in the house. I now imagine that he had a stash of mangoes, kiwis, and other exotic fruits stashed somewhere in the house ready for use when I lost yet another tooth.
Now, you might be wondering if I continued this fruity tradition with my own children. Well, the truth is, I decided long ago that my dad was infinitely funnier than I could ever hope to be. So, I opted for the more traditional tooth fairy route for my kids, letting them enjoy the magic of coins and banknotes under their pillows.
But I’ll always cherish those days when the tooth fairy was a fruitarian, and my childhood was filled with the sweet, tangy, and sometimes peculiar surprises she left me. It might not have made me richer, but it certainly added a twist of zesty humor to my early years.
