What do sunflowers wear under their clothes? Sunderwear, of course! Fear not, most of the gardening humor here is way funnier than my jokes. In fact, gardening humor is often about looking back at our mistakes and finding the funny in our flower fails or the laugh in our lettuce patch.
But sometimes, gardening humor is about what we silly gardeners do that must look absolutely absurd to most normal people. Take, for example, wondering why on earth anyone would want to go get manicures? You’re just going to get your fingernails dirty again! Or there’s the story of planting plastic forks.
Admittedly, even experienced gardeners wouldn’t be all that sure what Emily-Jane Hills Orford is up to when she plants 150 Plastic Forks. As most gardeners do, though, Emily-Jane has a very good reason for this seemingly strange behavior.
How about some gardening humor that mentions actual plants? Robert Christensen discovered gardening humor when he planted azaleas. Or rather, when he faced the decision of what to do with his azaleas that had stopped growing. Why? That was the question he asked everyone. Even his bus driver began including him in his pre-trip announcement: “No tobacco. No alcohol. No cell phones. And does anybody know why healthy azaleas would suddenly stop growing?”
Everything became clear one afternoon at a stoplight. Can you guess why his plants stopped growing? Read My No-Grow Azaleas to find out – and to learn what he did about it. Oh, by the way, don’t follow his example!
Feel free to stay a while and enjoy all the gardening humor we have to share below. And be sure to check out our Gardening Humor Freebie while you’re here, which features a hand-picked selection of our favorite stories from this category.
There are a lot of funny gardening stories I can relate to. Kids picked the tomatoes too early? Been there. Dog tore up 200 freshly planted bulbs? Totally! There was this one time I grew an entire patch of underripe watermelons. By the time the cold was settling in, I had to pick them, and […]
I consider myself lucky in a lot of ways. One of the biggest ones, for me, is knowing that my daughter is growing up with a family home garden. Since before she could walk, we’ve spent time in the garden together. She knows about planting seeds, waiting for those seeds to germinate, pulling weeds, and […]
Revenge or fair play? That’s what my garden story is about today. Are you ready to be the judge in a case of a garden crime? We all have that favorite plant. You know the one that you’ve tried to grow for years and is finally thriving? That’s the plant I’m talking about here. It […]
You can learn a lot about a person just by reading what they write. Some folks come off kind, others terse, some brilliant, and some—well, a bit outrageous. But Mike McGrath? He’s a category all his own. Outrageously kind, comically smart, enthusiastically chaotic, and definitely not stoopid. No sir, not our Mike. Reading Mike’s work […]
Garden pest control is a hot topic in gardening conversations. Whether in person or online, everybody has an opinion on this. The thing is, there are so many different pests and so many approaches to garden pest control that it’s hard to say one method is better or worse than another. Personally, I prefer a […]
I admit that I don’t know all of the saints. I’m aware of some of the well-known saints, like St. Anthony, the Patron Saint for Lost Articles. He’s a favorite of one of my friends. But the Encyclopedia Britannica points out that there are more than 10,000 saints recognized by the Catholic Church, so I […]
Cow dung, also known as cow pies or cow manure, is the holy grail ingredient on the farm where the biggest gardens are grown. It’s also packed and shipped off to garden supply stores everywhere to help out the little gardens, too. I’ve never been too romantic about it, mostly I just look forward to […]
Here at GreenPrints, we’ve long believed that gardening is a dance—sometimes a graceful waltz with pollinators, other times a full-blown mosh pit with pests. And rarely has that mosh pit been more hilariously, and heroically, described than in Marjorie Schratz McNamara’s “Beetle Mania,” our summer saga of one woman’s backyard war against the most insufferable […]
Let’s be honest—every gardener has, at least once, stared lovingly at their tiny raised bed and thought, “If I just had a few more acres…” You know the fantasy: morning dew shimmering on your rolling fields, a sunrise symphony of birdsong, and the gentle hum of your fully loaded tractor as you heroically plow, till, […]
Let’s face it—gardeners are an inventive bunch when it comes to nourishing their plants. We brew banana peel tea, steep compost like it’s fine wine, sprinkle Epsom salts like fairy dust, and even chat sweetly to our squash in hopes it will grow bigger than the neighbor’s. But among the most time-honored and giggle-inducing methods […]
